my speech: Good morning to everyone, dear lecturer, dear friends. I stood up here to tell few words about the passions in my life. Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. I think you all already know about me, but little. My name is Hasfar Amynurliyana. This coming 6 February, I'm going to turn 21 years old. I come from a big family. My dad Abdul Ghofar bin Abdul Mubin is a safety officer, while my mum Hasemah Binti Omar had retired 2 years ago. I have a brother and two younger sisters. Al of them are still studying. To my mind, I think that's enough about myself. Now, one of the main passions in my life is my family. According to the Oxford American College Dictionary, a family is a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. My definition of family are people that i share a close bond with and that will always be there for me no matter what. My parents have always taken special care of me and my siblings and looked out for us. My parents provide us with food, shelter, education, clothes, and daily necessities. My mother will always take time off from a busy schedule to care for me and my siblings when we ill. For instance, when i was younger, i had fell and my elbow bone was cracked. So, I undergo an operation and stayed at the hospital for a few days. Each day my mum accompany me without complaining and care for me. Also, my parents have always taught me to be honest, responsible, and independent. They have always told me to be respectiful and be responsible for whatever i say and do. One of the most important things that my mother has taught me is to be responsible and independent because it will help me when i live on my own. My dad has always taught me to be kind to others and never put them down or make fun of them. He tells me that it is important to be nice to others because one day they may repay that kindness back to you when you least expect it. I share a close bond with my family that i don't have with any other people. I think that if friends aren't always there for you, family is. My family may argue with each other sometimes and they can also get on my nerves, but i know that we will always make up and forgive each other because they will always be my family no matter what and i can't divorce them.My parents have sacrificed a lot for me, they save up money not only for themselves but for me and my siblings . My siblings are willing to spend time helping me with any projects or homework that I may have. My family set a good example for me and teach me to always chose the right thing to do and not make any bad choices. They will always give me advice and help me with any problems that i may have. We always try to spend as much time as we can with each other. We always gather and sit down after dinner and just talk about school, our week and tell stories, just to see how everyone is doing. They know me better than anyone else and they are the ones that help me get through life everyday. My family are among the few people in this world that will genuinely care and worry about me. They will always be there for me and accept me with all of my weaknesses and mistakes. I know that my family will always be there for me for better or for worse, richer or for poorer, and in sickness and health. I know that i can always be able to trust my life with them because they will never abandon me. Family will always be my number one priority and I will always put them first. I am who I am because of my family, they are a huge part of my life and I would be nothing without them. I would like to end my speech by saying to all of you, love your family, treat them respectly, never betray them and make them proud of you. Thank you. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Fara: Good, but you talk so fast. huhu. lets practice more to become a confident speaker.
shira: good job...practice more on eye contact with audience..=)
COMMENT:
Fara's comment:
Introduction:
Your topic is about your family. It is interesting because as classmate we can know your family background more closer.
Your introduction is clear but the way you introduce your topic is not interesting enough.
Body:
Your main point is clear with supporting details for each main point.
You also organise your point well so the audience can understand your speech easier.
Conclusion:
You conclude the speech well.
You also give some advise to the audience.
Language:
The language that you used in this speech is the simple English and easy to understand.
However, there is some grammar error in your speech and you also should improve your pronounciation.
Delivery:
You look so nervous and lack of self-confident in front of audience.
Lack of eyes contact with audience.
Sometimes, you forget the points and your voice is too constant. You also talk too fast.
You should alert with time management.
SHIRA
Topic
your topic about my passion is interesting
your topic is relevant to audience since the audience know you.
Introduction
your introduction is good
you did give your background to ensure people know you better before you start to tell people about your family.
Body
the main points is clear.
you did support all the points clearly.
you organize all the pattern well.
your main point is enough
Conclusion
your conclusion is too simple, maybe you should add some interesting part or sweet memory with your family.
maybe you can add some advise or etc at the end of your speech.
Language
the language that you use is easy to understand and some word is quiet good.
your pronunciation should be improve.
Delivery
you talk too fast and some word are not clearly be heard.
your allocation time is okay.
you look little bit nervous and more depend on your notes to continue your speech.
you cannot attract your audience well to listen to your speech.
AMY:
Topic
the reason i choose this topic is not just to make people know more about me but also to tell them how can my family be one of the passion in my life.
the topic is general and is more about family.
Introduction
I started the introduction by trying to gain the audience attention by telling them about myself first.
I thought I've clearly introduce the topic well by giving some definition.
I've tried to give the best preview of the whole points.
Body
hope the main points have been clearly delivered about how family be the passion in my life.
I've put some points to supported the points so that the points will be more clear.
I've try my best to organize all the pattern well
for me all the points are connected and effective
Conclusion
I've tried to summarize all the points well.
I've gave some advise to the audience about family
Language
I've use an easy and simple language so that the audience will understand me
sadly, yes there is some grammars error
i admit, there's some error in the pronunciation too...
Delivery
My body language does showing that I'm 100% nervous and I can't control it. When I'm nervous I'll make too many body movement and that's totally embarrassing and so funny. I'll started to forgetting my points and will depends on my texts.
I'd tried to use different tones of voice to show that I'm excited, happy and sad, but maybe that's didn't really worked out.
Every time practicing I will set the time so that i will not too long or too short. But when I'm nervous I will talk fast than I suppose to talk so make me out of the time management.
I've tried to look at the audience and look at each of the audience.
Good morning to everyone, dear lecturer, dear friends. I stood up here to tell few words about the passions in my life. Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. I think you all already know about me, but little. My name is Hasfar Amynurliyana. This coming 6 February, I'm going to turn 21 years old. I come from a big family. My dad Abdul Ghofar bin Abdul Mubin is a safety officer, while my mum Hasemah Binti Omar had retired 2 years ago. I have a brother and two younger sisters. Al of them are still studying. To my mind, I think that's enough about myself.
Now, one of the main passions in my life is my family. According to the Oxford American College Dictionary, a family is a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. My definition of family are people that i share a close bond with and that will always be there for me no matter what. My parents have always taken special care of me and my siblings and looked out for us. My parents provide us with food, shelter, education, clothes, and daily necessities.
My mother will always take time off from a busy schedule to care for me and my siblings when we ill. For instance, when i was younger, i had fell and my elbow bone was cracked. So, I undergo an operation and stayed at the hospital for a few days. Each day my mum accompany me without complaining and care for me. Also, my parents have always taught me to be honest, responsible, and independent. They have always told me to be respectiful and be responsible for whatever i say and do.
One of the most important things that my mother has taught me is to be responsible and independent because it will help me when i live on my own. My dad has always taught me to be kind to others and never put them down or make fun of them. He tells me that it is important to be nice to others because one day they may repay that kindness back to you when you least expect it. I share a close bond with my family that i don't have with any other people. I think that if friends aren't always there for you, family is. My family may argue with each other sometimes and they can also get on my nerves, but i know that we will always make up and forgive each other because they will always be my family no matter what and i can't divorce them.My parents have sacrificed a lot for me, they save up money not only for themselves but for me and my siblings . My siblings are willing to spend time helping me with any projects or homework that I may have. My family set a good example for me and teach me to always chose the right t hing to do and not make any bad choices. They will always give me advice and help me with any problems that i may have. We always try to spend as much time as we can with each other. We always gather and sit down after dinner and just talk about school, our week and tell stories, just to see how everyone is doing. They know me better than anyone else and they are the ones that help me get through life everyday. My family are among the few people in this world that will genuinely care and worry about me. They will always be there for me and accept me with all of my weaknesses and mistakes. I know that my family will always be there for me for better or for worse, richer or for poorer, and in sickness and health. I know that i can always be able to trust my life with them because they will never abandon me. Family will always be my number one priority and I will always put them first. I am who I am because of my family, they are a huge part of my life and I would be nothing without them. I would like to end my speech by saying to all of you, love your family, treat them respectly, never betray them and make them proud of you. Thank you.
.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Fara: Good, but you talk so fast. huhu. lets practice more to become a confident speaker.
shira: good job...practice more on eye contact with audience..=)
COMMENT:
Fara's comment:
Introduction:
Body:
Conclusion:
Language:
Delivery:
SHIRA
Topic
your topic about my passion is interesting
your topic is relevant to audience since the audience know you.
Introduction
your introduction is good
you did give your background to ensure people know you better before you start to tell people about your family.
Body
the main points is clear.
you did support all the points clearly.
you organize all the pattern well.
your main point is enough
Conclusion
your conclusion is too simple, maybe you should add some interesting part or sweet memory with your family.
maybe you can add some advise or etc at the end of your speech.
Language
the language that you use is easy to understand and some word is quiet good.
your pronunciation should be improve.
Delivery
you talk too fast and some word are not clearly be heard.
your allocation time is okay.
you look little bit nervous and more depend on your notes to continue your speech.
you cannot attract your audience well to listen to your speech.
AMY:
Topic
the reason i choose this topic is not just to make people know more about me but also to tell them how can my family be one of the passion in my life.
the topic is general and is more about family.
Introduction
I started the introduction by trying to gain the audience attention by telling them about myself first.
I thought I've clearly introduce the topic well by giving some definition.
I've tried to give the best preview of the whole points.
Body
hope the main points have been clearly delivered about how family be the passion in my life.
I've put some points to supported the points so that the points will be more clear.
I've try my best to organize all the pattern well
for me all the points are connected and effective
Conclusion
I've tried to summarize all the points well.
I've gave some advise to the audience about family
Language
I've use an easy and simple language so that the audience will understand me
sadly, yes there is some grammars error
i admit, there's some error in the pronunciation too...
Delivery
My body language does showing that I'm 100% nervous and I can't control it. When I'm nervous I'll make too many body movement and that's totally embarrassing and so funny. I'll started to forgetting my points and will depends on my texts.
I'd tried to use different tones of voice to show that I'm excited, happy and sad, but maybe that's didn't really worked out.
Every time practicing I will set the time so that i will not too long or too short. But when I'm nervous I will talk fast than I suppose to talk so make me out of the time management.
I've tried to look at the audience and look at each of the audience.